Six weeks, it took to get an electricity connection in my new apartment. Six weeks to get a connection that, without fail will go out during a rain storm (it rains almost every night), will go out at random throughout the day and that is so unstable in terms of voltage, that anything worth anything needs to be plugged in through a stabilizer. (Did my fan short out AGAIN?) Six weeks of : We need light. “Yea, 2 weeks.” 2 weeks later: Hi we need light now. “Yea you didn’t pay” (lies). Yea, yea we did (twice actually). “Well we can do it for you for something small (a bribe).” I’ve given you that (TWICE) how about you do it now. 5 weeks: it takes 3 people, 5 days in a row to go to the company office and sit there until they come to my place. One week and many struggles later (no, no more small things for you!) and we have a connection…that shorts out within an hour. Julian: it shouldn’t be making that popping sound. No breakers are installed in the apartment (say it with me: fire hazard) and we get those put in. All is well after a battle with a contractor over the idea that when you say “we’re friends, now” it means that you give us a deal, not that we pay you twice as much. We’re not friends anymore. Thanks so much, leave now.
I was content with my little unstable electric connection, until I woke in the middle of the night to my fan no longer blowing on me. It’s truly amazing how a fan and the slightest bit of perspiration can cool you down (it’s a beautiful combination). Fan not blowing=electricity off, but it’ll come back in a couple hours. It didn’t. We come to discover, through the lovely help of my neighbors, that my electricity cable has been stolen. It was stolen from off the top of a 3-story building guarded by guards, a cement wall and barbed wire. Hey guards, what the heck? Now my cable is being thrown in a pipe and secured in a cement trench, in which my neighbor’s cable sits. Try stealing that, suckers. (no but really, don’t). Now we get to have the sketchy electricians come back and do it all over. If you say “2 weeks” or “something small” to me one more time, we’re definitely not friends anymore. Thanks for letting me enjoy electricity for at least a week.
On top of which we’re back to “8 days a week” at the office. Back to losing my weight in sweat, reading and changing survey sections (the 7th time is still the charm), and going to sleep thinking of survey answer skips. If yes, SKIP TO IN067. If they don’t use one of these 7 weapon choices, SKIP TO other.
When I have weeks (or months) like these I put in my headphones (or just step outside) and listen to a very popular song here. “I Love My Life.” Never fails to make me laugh. I don’t have light (I love my life). I don’t have water (I love my life). I’m in Liberia (I love my life). At least that’s how my version goes.
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